How to Take Control of Your Own Life
Do you have fond memories or your childhood or adolescence, when the world seemed much brighter and your worries were so far away? Or maybe you grew up in such harsh circumstances that you never had much of a childhood, and you’re well-acquainted with strife.
Whether you’re on one end of the spectrum or somewhere in between, it’s possible to make the world bright again.
Let’s go over how to take control of your own life.
Gain Emotional Independence
Many people struggle with emotional independence even if they have financial independence. The two are not mutually exclusive, though having emotional independence helps in all areas of your life, including your finances.
From Psychology Today:
“Emotional independence is a type of inner resilience that lets you know you can meet, solve, and be with any circumstance you face.”
Emotional independence isn’t quite self-esteem, and it isn’t quite self-confidence either. In my experience, it’s when you come to a deep understanding with your own inner workings such that you can tweak them. With it comes a sense of security which allows you to get past many obstacles where others cannot.
When you gain emotional independence, you’re less bothered by the opinions of others, and you’re less bothered by your own flaws. That means you’re less likely to get distracted, demotivated or hurt by the words of others, and you can recover quicker from your failings or even have a better chance of avoiding them by putting your knowledge of yourself to use.
Many people dream of becoming wealthy, taking vacations and being able to indulge in the finer things in life. Emotional independence gives you the mental resilience and stability you need to pursue goals like these.
Want to know more about how emotional independence can help you? Head over to my article How to Be Good at Everything.
Gain Financial Independence
According to Wikipedia,
“Financial independence is the status of having enough income to pay one’s living expenses for the rest of one’s life without having to be employed or dependent on others.”
This may seem like a dream, especially if you haven’t gotten close to emotional independence. The fact is today, there are plenty of roads to becoming financially independent that don’t require that you have white collar parents. It doesn’t even require that you have a high school degree.
But it does take a sort of perseverance and tenacity that most people simply don’t have because they haven’t worked on becoming emotionally independent. As a result, the stresses of the challenges weigh them down until they give up– or they may stay in the same position, turning their wheels but going nowhere.
I’m personally not financially dependent myself, but I can say that I’ve just entered my third month of working on my online business and I’m still going strong. I plan to continue sticking with it until it profits.
Want to know more about pathways to financial freedom? Check out Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki Book Review.
Do Something Productive Every Day
The only days that I generally don’t do something I consider productive are either holidays (where I celebrate instead) or self-care days (which are recovery days after particularly bad days).
I make an effort to at least do one of the following each day:
- Read for 1 hour (you can find many studies on how billionaires, entrepreneurs, etc credit their successes to their reading habits)
- Cleaning (my goal is to have a clean apartment by the end of this month. A clean space encourages positive feelings, while a cluttered space generally contributes to negative feelings)
- Write an article (I’m currently trying to do this every other day at least)
- Do research/other work for my online business (Which is why I do an article every other day, instead of every day. I can focus on an article or research that day which helps me retain focus better than trying to do everything in one day)
I’ve spent a lot of time working on my emotional independence to get to the level of productivity I’m at today. Even if you’re only reading 10 minutes, or one chapter, or one page as an example for reading, consistency is the key. Same goes with any other task.
Having trouble with motivation? Try giving Why Do I Feel So Unmotivated? a read.
Be Kind and Compassionate
This is more than just feel-good fluff.
People like people who are genuine. They are drawn to them. They open up to them. They want to help them. Why?
Because any investment in a genuine person is invariably a safe investment in the overall well being of our society. You can practically guarantee that the person who has brought value to your life will bring value to others as well.
This may not be on the person’s mind when they’re giving to these genuine people, but that’s my best guess for why humans are so compelled to act this way towards kind people
Granted, I’m not talking about false kindness and using superficial politeness to try to get something of value for yourself. People can often see through that, and even if they can’t, their subconscious will likely pick up on the cues.
Being truly compassionate means fostering the desire to help other people and bring value to their lives.
In my experience, the more I become emotionally independent, the more I have sympathy for others. I am not by any means perfect, but I am much more compassionate than I used to be.
When you are kind and compassionate, the world opens up to you. People are eager to help you and do things for you. You may get opportunities that money could never buy.
Of course, you need to learn to be kind to yourself first and foremost. Consider reading the article How Do I Stop Hating Myself?
Action, Action, Action
No matter how you want to take control in your life, you inevitably have to take action. Big actions, risky actions, sometimes scary actions– and these will all provide you with the valuable lessons that will get you one step closer to taking control of your life.
Things seldom change on their own. They’re more likely to stay the same as they always have.
If you want things to change, you’re going to have to make them change.
Luckily, you’re in the right place: Self Care 101 is all about emotional intelligence so that you can eventually become emotionally independent.
And once you do, everything else will fall into place.
Have experiences you want to share, or questions or comments? All are welcome below.
As always, take care of yourself! And Happy New Year!
